Thoughts that go through my head while running

lapping everyone on the couchedit

 

On Saturday, my planned 4 mile run turned into a 4.8 mile run, and near the end I got to thinking about the things that go through my head when I run.

One minute in: “Yeah! I’m feeling great! I’m going to rock this run!”

5:00 “Seriously!? I’ve only gone that far?”

5:15 “Okay, okay, person with a dog coming toward me. I should be that nice person who says hi. I hope the dog doesn’t jump at me. I sure would hate it if the owner blamed me for their dog flipping out.”

5:15 “‘Good morning!'”

10:00 “I could have sworn I ran a mile by now.”

11:37 “Okay, there’s the mile announcement. I do love Runkeeper!

12:15 “How long until the fifteen minute announcement?”

12:49 “Finally, the park. How long until the 15 minute announcement?”

12:56 “Okay, another person on the trail, better say hi”

13:00 “‘Hi!'”

14:55 “Dang, 15 minutes is sure taking forever to get here. ‘Good morning!'”

15:00 “Finally!”

15:27 ‘Good morning!’ “Oh, carp, they responded with, ‘How are you?’! Must try to respond!”

16:52 “Aww, come on people! Stop asking how I’m doing! Can’t you see I’m bright red, huffing and puffing?”

17:12 “Ugh, I need new shoes. I know I gained weight, but dang, I didn’t think my feet got fat too.”

17:20 *Stops to untie shoes*

17:26 “Ah, much better.”

18:05 ‘Good morning!’ “I’m surprised that person didn’t say anything about my untied shoes.”

18:30 “Seriously? No one is saying anything about my untied shoes?”

20:13 “How am I going to explain to the shoe guy at the running store the type of shoe I’m looking for? I’m too heavy for minimalist shoes for longer distances, but clearly these heavy bulky things are not working out for me. They are for forefoot strikers, but are there any shoes that a cushiony and for forefoot strikers?”

20:20 “How do I explain to the shoe guy that yes, I do land on my forefoot, that I may be fat, but I have run in the past, and I trained myself to run this way. No, I do not need motion control, I do not over pronate, I have a very neutral gait, normal arches, and yes, I do know this, don’t let my size fool you!”

25:00 “Holy carp, it’s only been 25 minutes? It feel like I’ve been at this 45!”

27:10 “I can’t believe how sweaty I am! When was the last time I got this sweaty? Yeah, I got pretty sweaty at TKD rank camp, but really I think it was back when I was really into group fitness classes at my gym in Texas. Wow, that long ago? I kind of miss my trainer. I don’t want to train like that any more, even though I got some amazing abs.”

27:40 “I really believe I’m training my abdominal muscles to protrude outward. I know running distances like this isn’t really good for weight loss, but I can dream right?”

29:57 “Mark says chronic cardio is bad (and Mark knows everything!), but dang it, I want to run this marathon just so I can say I did it!”

31:23 “Running requires serious mental toughness! So tired, old lady hips ache, but I’m only 15 minutes from home so I gotta keep going.”

35:00 “Ugh, sounding like Shaun T. ‘Dig deeper!'”

35:25 “DIG DEEPER! You’ve got this!”

36:36 “You rock, Arley! You need to tell people about the power of cheering yourself on!”

38:12 “You have a cheering section in your head! You’re not crazy! Woo hoo!”

38:13-54:10 Variations on, “You’re a rockstar Arley! Get it! Yeah, we can do this! So close to home!” Yes, at one point I was having a conversation WITH myself, referring to me and myself as WE. I’m not crazy!

54:11 “Okay, your street it just ahead. Get ready for your victory lap! Victory lap? Really? YES!! VICTORY LAP DOWN YOUR ROAD TO YOUR HOME!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!”

55:01 “VICTORY LAP! YOU CAN DO IT!!”

56:03 “Oh, neighbors outside. Aren’t they the ones from that house that Dave insists is inhabited my many single males? I must look crazy with sweat flying and hair frizzing.”

56:04 “Who cares what they think. VICTORY LAP! ALMOST HOME!!!”

1:01:02 “I MADE IT!!!!”

1:01:03 “What? 4.8 miles? Wow, was mapmyrun wrong!”

Am I the only one who cheers myself on during a run? What random things go through your head when you run?

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