Funny Poem I Found

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

(This is not my poem! I found it at multiple sites throughout the web and giggled all the way through it!)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!


Shaping Up To Be A Busy Summer!

I’m so excited! I just finished up my schedule for June and August (part of July is spoken for out of state)!

Daily schedule involves a walk to the park and playtime before it gets hot, and the hottest part of the day is set aside for schoolwork (we don’t homeschool, but I want to so bad!), reading time for all those summer reading programs, individual play, character training, memory verses, and quiet rest time.

Late afternoon will have us doing one extra cleaning task, free play indoors and outside playtime, most likely involving water (I may even get my car washed on a regular basis this way, ha ha!). And of course after dinner we have our family Bible time.

Thanks to the books “Managers Of Their Homes” and “Managers Of Their Chores,” I see this summer being productive and low on the “I’m bored” complaints.

Also, I have to throw this out there really quick, but I’ve been trying to find a daily personal planner that fits my needs as a mom of four, and I could never find anything I really liked. Then a couple nights ago I was playing with and stumbled on the blog and the blogger there came up with this really cool “seasonal planner” that I loved so much I grabbed an old thee-pronged folder and scoured the internet for similar printables (that were free), and I assembled it this afternoon. Between my “goals” page and my month-spread-across-two-pages calender, I came up with a schedule for extra cleaning tasks (such as wiping down walls in the kitchen one day, cleaning the glass doors in the kitchen the next day, wiping baseboards another day, little tasks that aren’t part of daily/weekly cleaning).

Ambitious? Yes. Impossible? No. But I have a bigger goal of preparing for the possibility of homeschooling full-time, plus I have changed my mindset from “raising children” to “raising godly young men,” which has changed the way I approach parenting and planning activities/schedules for my boys. I think, with having goals bigger than “keeping the children entertained,” or “just get through the summer with my sanity in tact,” it makes my proposed plan for the summer not seem so daunting.

Now, the need to lose 10 lbs in the next 6 weeks or so, THAT’S an overwhelming prospect! I’m hoping the daily walks to the park (with me pushing the stroller around the track for part of that time), combined with less internet time (I only have 30-45 minutes scheduled in the evening, mostly for blogging) and more home organization/cleaning will be enough physical activity to see a small change. OK, there will be more than that, but I’ll leave the weight-loss stuff for another post 🙂

What are your plans for the summer? Let me know in the comment section below!

My Desire To Homeschool

Let me start off with the fact that I DID homeschool my older two when they were 3 and 5. My then 5 y/o could read, but for some reason refused to do it for me. Worried that I was setting him up for failure, I caved and sent them both to public school (admittedly, my second was learning to read faster than my first, but is a little socially awkward, and does FANTASTIC in a one-on-one setting, so I thought about keeping him home). I miss having them home with me, and I’m worried that my Biblical teaching at home during evenings and weekends isn’t enough “Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” Deuteronomy 6:6-8, The Message.   You can’t properly impress the commandments upon them all the time if your children are away at a government indoctrination facility. This has been weighing heavily on my heart as of late, especially as I see the results of a life without Jesus (I’ve been especially affected by the stories of those “flash mobs”  and other groups of young people whose lives are so empty they try to fill the void with things and violence, and appear to believe hurting or killing others will somehow ease their pain). I don’t want my children to turn to drugs, sex and violence to feel better (or even just to feel).

Anyway, back to home education…

Obviously the school we did do paid off because my kindergartener goes to a first grade class for about a half hour every morning for reading, and his first grade teacher says he’s in her top reading group. Still I worry that he’s not getting enough of a challenge in the other areas (unlike the other kids in his class, he can count to 100, patterns and sorting are concepts he mastered when he was three, and he writes complete sentences, although I would like to see his handwriting improve, but it’s still better than the average 5 y/o’s).

Since I’m hesitant to take either out of school just yet, I decided to work with my 2 y/o. It’s funny because he recognizes a letter enough to say its sound, but he doesn’t remember the letter’s name! I guess I’m figuring that if I can get on a good schedule with him and have the good results I had with the other children, I can convince my husband to let me educate our other children again.

Over the next couple weeks in addition to figuring out a good schedule, I will also play around with curriculum choices. I can’t exactly afford a canned curriculum, and I want at least part to be computer-based (my oldest loves playing math games on the computer!). I don’t plan on making any moves until the end of the school year anyway, so I have time to play around with my options.

Just wanted to get my thoughts out! If you have any suggestions for fitting in school, chores, and service (and fun outings, of course!), or if you have any educational websites you want to recommend, let me know below!



Busy Day Today

My family went to an outdoor military museum this morning. There were tents set up with real gear used during the various war eras showcased. My favorite had to be the tent with the working WWII communication radios and record player. The big boys adored the M5 artillery tractor, a tracked vehicle that carried artillery pieces (cannons) and the men that operated the pieces, that we got to ride around in. We all liked learning about the other vehicles that were there, such as an M4 Sherman tank, M18 Hellcat tank destroyer, and a river boat that was used by the navy in Viet Nam.

My husband had a great time teaching the young buck manning the old rifle table all about the types the young man had displayed (including a model 1895 Krag Jorgenson that no one else had correctly identified!).

(**Pictures will be added tomorrow**).

I admit that I’m not a history buff, but I love museums, and find them to be a great tool to spark an interest in this nation’s history (or natural history, take your pick), and a great motivator to study certain subjects further when you get home. I just loved talking about what we learned today around the dinner table!

I also went to a baby shower at the local winery this afternoon for a woman in my Sunday school and women’s Bible study classes. The guests were all from the church, and I enjoyed the time spent with them outside of church.

Great weekend so far!